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statue of a child
Aug 24, 2017

You Might Be Unintentionally Limiting Your Child or Yourself. Here's Why.

For many of us, we have experienced something said to us when we were children, which went on to define us for the next 50 years. But here is the question, why? It was only a statement.

Someone’s opinion of who or what they thought we were, or what they thought we were capable of. The key here is that these were their thoughts—not facts.   

Here is an example: A friend told me that she remembers her 3rd grade teacher telling her that her math skills were definitely not as good as her older sister’s and what was wrong with her for not comprehending the assignment.

Another example: When parents compare your behavior, or what they expect of you, to the behavior or expectations they hold of your siblings.

All of these examples can make a child feel like a failure… and it makes you feel small on the inside! The adults that utter these comments in the “name of your own good” do not know or fully understand the damage they do.

Often children are not taught to ignore what others think about them… and that the only person’s thoughts that matter is your thoughts about yourself. The truth for me, and I hope others too, is that you have to live with you. Meaning your opinion matters about what you think and believe. For example, you would not let anyone dictate who you can or cannot love. It’s the same!

But we let others’ comments define us for a lifetime…

I am writing this in the hopes that you will think about that and then go out and do whatever it is that you believe you are capable of.

Take those comments and purge them out of your system forever, do anything you need to do, to get rid of it. And live your life without letting these invisible constraints and old comments define who you have become today!

Want to learn more? Get in touch with me here.


The leading voice of the Kindness movement, Gabriella van Rij [pronounced “ray”] works to spread the message that we are all unique, and we each have something to offer the person next to us. Gabriella is a speaker, author & kindness expert whose presentations blend humor, original analogies, and her life story to create a rare perspective-shifting experience that speaks to all and that provides the tools audiences need for more productive relationships. Gabriella has been seen by millions on Dr. Phil, ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX. She also writes for the Huffington Post and the NY Daily News. Gabriella’s #DareToBeKind campaign brings her bullying prevention program to schools, communities, and corporations across the US.