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Little Gabriella and grown-up Gabriella van Rij
Jun 3, 2019

"Oh but darling, what if you fly?"

These two sentences inspired me to write this article. What struck me is that many of us spend 90 percent of our time with negative thoughts instead of positive ones. We can’t really imagine that the “I” in us can succeed. We have all these insane thoughts that we were taught, both men and women, for example…

That we must…
--help others and rarely to fill our own cup first
--have the necessary degrees to be a success
--put others first or be considered to be an egotistical maniac
--stay married or people will wonder if something is wrong with you
--have a certain amount in your savings account

See, I have been an expert at falling or failing—however you want to word that, but I have to also be very honest and say I have been resilient in getting up and dusting myself off. So much so, that I have become quite a pro at it.

So, when I read those two tiny sentences, I thought, “Yes, of course, I can fly!” A feeling of euphoria came over me and a huge smile graced my face. Because you know what…? We can! Whether you have been told to have a university degree otherwise you are not good enough… Or whatever others have said to you… It does not matter because YOU are important, your voice counts.

As I have learned since around 2003, no matter how many mistakes, how many put downs, how insecure you feel, you are totally in control to limit your own despair… After one day in bed, licking your wounds, get up and take that shower and put the clothes on that make you feel good and get out there and do more than hold your chin up high. You can thrive, the moment you take that first step and get up off the floor or out of that bed.

Thriving is a state of mind and the moment YOU shift, the world around you shifts with you.

Think of it for a moment… When you are really tired and you did not sleep all night… The next day, you drag your feet, your hair and face look awful, puffy, and nobody notices you… Nobody. People bump into you, as if you are invisible. I know we have all experienced this, no matter our age. But when we choose to straighten our shoulders and say, “I am hopelessly flawed but totally ok with that!” and you feel the smile from within bubble up around the corners of your lips, then all of a sudden the whole world notices you!

What is the difference? Honestly, it is the shift inside of you, whether you want to call it energy or an attitude change, it does not matter, we all know what the shift feels like. We walk taller, our shoulders are straight, and, like I said, there is a smile bubbling up from inside of you. In my case, I always kind of hop along the street like a child that skips with an imaginary rope that is not there.

Thriving is truly so much easier to do then we believe it is. So next time you fall or fail, remember these 2 sentences… and especially the last one, “But darling what if you fly?” Yes, what if? Are we actually scared? Are we our own worst enemy? The answer you know is YES.

Lick your wounds so you feel safe and loved and then honestly take that step and say out loud, “YES I CAN FLY.”